The struggle of probably every women to look fabulous on big events of their lives( even more chronic; looking good everyday).
No doubt, I'm inevitably one of them. We all want to look good to feel good right? It's all about self-esteem.
Acceptance of how you look is the fine line of self-esteem but here's the problem.
Media has established a standard "perfect" for almost everything. From how a "perfect" body should be like, how "perfect" make-up should look like.
Should we even follow these "benchmarks" to be deemed normal? Or to be accepted by public?
Everyday is a battle between you and your self-esteem. Even I have my fair share of struggle but here's another problem; Whether you're putting enough effort to achieve it?
That's when The Semangat 5 minit(minutes)(S5M)derived. Popularly known for people who want to achieve their goals but putting very minimal effort and still have high expectations.
Ini semua normal lah kan? heh.
My S5M which I still can't figure out a way to discipline myself is clean eating. I'm all crazy about losing those extra pounds but I'm not putting enough effort on clean-eating. I love food, I grew up to having substantial food right before my eyes hence being overweight back then.
I lost myself even more when I had a very "comfortable" long relationship back then which adds to terrible weight gain.
Only until recent years, I was so obsessed about dieting and exercise, the weight finally started to come off. No doubt it was difficult. Became a gym-junkie (5-6 times/week) and cardio freak(burning 1000 calories per session-I swear!). It was no joke.
Now that I've reached my ideal weight, I still want to do better- I want to be skinnier.
Early 2014 has been a tough on me. I haven't been exercising much as compared to previous years but I was still a little conscious about eating. Everyday without fail, I'd question Bubs whether I'm fat or not- Which he claims, it's annoying.
I'm just a little "built" for a women.
I was never skinny, I wished to be skinny. The pre-wedding shoot was an opportunity for me to lose more weight. I went on almost all diet, combined. From Atkins, Paleo(almost), Military, Detox- You name it, I've tried it.
The detox diet which caused breakouts instantly within 24hrs! That's definitely the worst day of my life!!
I slipped on my gown it got loose. I looked good, I felt good but not everyone agreed with me. They said I looked aneroxic.
Bubs had his tough time during that period forcing me to eat. I always blacked out and collapsed, fainty, clammy and weak. It was indeed torturous. From then on, my low blood pressure was apparent to me.
Would I go through such pain again? -Maybe but not to the extent of extreme fasting. 50.8 was my lowest, here I am trying to set (maybe not practical) 48-49 before my wedding.
I think I'm being ridiculous.
Or am I?
I don't have a particular regime just yet and we're 105 days away from the wedding. As of now, Bubs being away isn't that bad after all cos' I can focus on my food intake.
...and I'm still struggling on maintaining to eat clean.
Bummer.
How now?
xoxo.
