So what happens after the wedding? You jump straight to having a baby? How do you know you're ready for one? Are you ready to take on unexpected challenges/ burden? Are you fully sheltered/ Have you bought a house together? Do you have future goals with your partner? If so, how far can both of you finance this to reach your goals? Does it involves only monetary? How about quality time? How much of quality time do you take in consideration as substantial/suffice for your other partner? Does your job gets in the way? If so, how do you cope with such schedule? Is there a way to compensate/negotiate/compromise quality time for your busy working life? How potentially vulnerable are you subjecting/accomodating to changes?
Let's talk emotional, how do you deal with pressured arguments with your spouse? Do you throw tantrums or give the silent treatment? How do you address such problem if it arise between you two? Would you willing to sacrfice the marriage for your ego?
Start questioning how much you love her, isn't this the woman/man you pledge "Till death do us apart... In sickness and in health?" Why do you consider divorce as an option even for trivial matters? Because you're no longer happy? Were you happy from the start? Then why get married in te first place?
And It Goes Back to Square One.
Is this how life supposed to be like? Why does human cognitive works this way? We are always expected to find a way out or a solution to a problem. How can divorce be a solution? It's an easy way out(minus the time-wasting paperworks/court summons and all that other law stuffs)
My mom always told me "You're not married yet. You don't understand"
I may not understand how marriage life works but I do understand human behaviour, everyone does.
Marriage life is said to be a scary world, a world filled with uncertainty of what the future holds for the both of you. A world where a woman's life begins and man's end(haha). A different world which gives life a little meaning, a reason to live for.
Marriage is and should be beautiful. It takes a lot of hardwork and effort. It's a two-way, always be giving and receiving. Ingredients of a successful marriage requires a strong foundation between the two.
1) Communication
2) Understanding
3) Dedication
4) Loyalty/Fidelity
5) Patience
6) Compromise
7) Love and Affection
8) Priority
9) Finances
10) Foresighted
I can address this point by point but it's just too lengthy. Besides, it's just my two cents right?
Bottomline is, should problem arise from these factors, it requires immediate attention. It matters on
1) How do you address the situation?
2) What can both of you do about it?
3) How do you achieve compromisation if it's one-sided?
4) Lastly, are you both agreeable to those terms?
An unresolved situation brings unhappiness to your partner. It will eventually surface again should the attention is not given or problems not solved.
Remember that sustaining a marriage is not a one-person's effort, it takes two. Why jeopardizing your marriage for trivial matters? There are always reasons why people react. Either you overlook it, choose to shun away from it or simply can't be bothered.
Probably you shouldn't get married in the first place. Why find yourself in a place where at the end of the day, you want out?
Renung-renungkanlah.
xoxo.
