Men, in general, thinks that involving feelings and emotions in a situation is futile. Practically yes, they are right. There's no benefits at all from heated arguments over something that may seemed trivial. In women's perspective, nothing is trivial when the problem is raised. Then again, the problem about some men is that; due to the problem being seen as small(redundant/useless), they tend to brush it away. A problem is still a problem when it is not solved, no? Same goes to feelings that are not addressed properly, will still be there.
We're talking about feeding the female's emotion, it's about being intuitive. Like " Do I really need to teach you how to keep me calm when I'm mad? " or "We've been through this a lot of times, you're still not picking things up even when I told you what to do when I'm mad?"
Oh hell yes brother. Welcome to the female world. So how do you think you should address this problem?
Understand your lady.
I'm talking about something real here which men still refuse to understand(somehow), probably it's just the ego I presume. So back at understanding your lady. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, I believe, to successfully(temporarily) "solve" the problem.
Every women is different, I'm talking about their approach when they're being hard to handle(read:fuming mad/PMS-ing) but one thing is for sure, they want you to quickly address their emotion to how "affected" they are to the problem. Remember the 3As I've mentioned about? Try simmer your lady with the 3-pointers.
1) Give her your fullest ATTENTION
Just listen, let her yack it out. If it does make her better. I'm not asking you to be a dumb-a*hole and just listen with no response, react appropriately. Where was the "Fire-water" approach to arguments? Guys, just do us a favour. Shut us up when we are done, not in the midst of it. Don't walk away, raise to the top your voice or pretend the conversation didn't exist. Body language is very important. Remember, you need to address her emotions first then finding the root of your problem.
2) Already done blabbering? Hug her, show AFFECTION.
Not every women like to be kept calm after lashing her heart out by a hug or a passionate kiss. Who does that anyway? I'm talking about a little touch. At the end of the day, she's still your lady right? Notice what's best for her once she's done nagging or pouring her heart out. As simple as holding her hand will do good. You are there to mellow her heart, indirectlytelling her " I'm here no matter how bad the situation is. I won't treat you any less than any other day I've been with you. You deserve me, my attention. Be calm, honey. So let's review this whole argument again with a sensible and stable mind, together."
Now now, can you guys feel me? Just do it. No questions asked.
3) Tapped her inner-soul, tamed the grouchy lioness within? Assure her. With what?
Well of course that depends on what the real argument is all about. If she was mad at you for leaving the shaven pubic hair(eew) in the bathtub, just ASSURE her that you will never do it again if it bothers her(obviously who does that? An example anyway) or if the problem is not as trivial as the above, something relatively huge like her reading your steamy conversation with a colleague/texting your ex-girlfriend, now that might just not work cos' you're being a jerk anyways.
So there you have it. Pardon me, I'm not being sexist here but I have come to a point whereby almost accepting that no such guys ever exist anymore. If ego can come in between you and your loved ones, what's the point of comprimising? Then comes the question, "If no comprimising is achieved in a relationship, why bother stay with each other if you can't be submissive to each other?" Might as well have a fling or two and not be committed at all, right?
That's all for now. It feels much better to let it out here. Cos' lashing things out on Twitter doesn't do me any good. It'll "annoy" people.
Till then, this angsty blogger needs to keep her PMS on guard since it's useless having to depend someone who doesn't gives a shit. Oh bubs, was I refering to you?
xoxo.
